Today I saw a car this bumper sticker on the back of someone’s car:

Now it may be true that the stick family car stickers have gotten out of hand. It’s one thing to add a kid, but when you also have stickers for your baby, your cats, your parakeet and your mule, it’s gone too far. If your stick family expands the length of your rear windshield, you have doled out way too much cash on stickers.

But I’m not gonna be a stick family sticker hater. In fact, I have to get back to the car that had the anti-stick-family sticker. This same car had three separate zombie stickers on its rear windshield. Whoa. You’re banging on stick families when you have an obvious obsession with living dead people, who by the way are fake.

Such irony. You don’t like innocent depictions of families but you’re all for fictional, fantasy-land man eaters. Forget those happy people who take great pride and affection in their brood. Let’s celebrate the pride you take in readying yourself for the horrible event that will never happen. Oh the humor of vehicular homicide versus the serious business of the Zombie Apocalypse. Truly sir you have eloquently navigated the torrents of discovering life’s meaning and firmly planted your feet on the island of nobility.

Truth be told, we Speights are kind of a real-life stick family. And when the zombies come, let’s just say they won’t be running themselves over to devour us.